My Story
About Me
Hi. I'm, "Confidential Victim".
That's what the police called me in the report, anyway. They say it's for my protection.
Something happened to me. I'm not exactly sure where the trouble began or where it ended, but the whole experience felt like I was stuck in an out-of-control vehicle, white-knuckling the wheel to give myself some semblance of control.
I'm a San Francisco Bay Area native and San Mateo County has always been my home. I was born here, grew up here, graduated here, and I still find new reasons to love my home every single day.
In 2017, I was in my mid-twenties and working retail, promising myself that I would move out of my parents' home and get my creative career off the ground. Halfway through the year, my second long-term relationship failed. I met a man shortly afterwords, got my drivers' license and my first car, which was promptly totaled at a stop light by a negligent driver. I had what felt like endless arguments with insurance brokers. I got a new car. I cut the man out of my life.
Things weren't going how I'd hoped.
As for my small social circle, it was strained. My grandma had stopped recognizing me earlier that year. I had been helping out a friend with their house on the weekends while her husband, also a good friend, battled terminal cancer. My dad collapsed from stress. I felt helpless and I wish I could have given my loved ones my health when they needed.
This is my 2017 in a nutshell. It doesn't matter how you drive when there's someone who doesn't care about wrecking you.
All these events made me feel more down and lonely than ever, but I felt like I had a lot of love to give still; and boy did I ever want to give it!.
Meeting people organically hadn't really been working in my favor, so I decided that it was time to give online dating a shot. I opened an account, filled out my profile thoroughly about all my wants and needs so I'd have the best results possible, and waited for Prince Charming to reach out. The app had a compatibility meter that gauged similarly answered questions between users and I paid close attention to it before even bothering to chat.
Spoken as a very poorly socialized homschooled kid, I tend to feel everyone is wonderful and valuable in their own ways. Well I certainly did met some people on that dating app! I met a business man who traveled constantly. We decided our schedules and sexual interests were not a match. I met a guy that initially seemed nice, but eventually his unsolicited opinions on race and politics made him very unattractive. I continued chatting with others - It was kind of adventurous! I was pleased that I'd met so many people I wouldn't have otherwise, even though nothing came of those specific dates. I wasn't ready for marriage, but I was certainly ready to meet, "the one".
During all of this, I'd been speaking to a guy I wasn't too sure about. He had a nice sense of humor and seemed very patient. He waited for us to chat at length until I felt comfortable to meet and he didn't seem to mind that I had been going on other dates. I liked his pictures - he had a unique face; I'd never met anyone that looked quite like him and I felt charmed by his personality.
Our compatibility meter wasn't the best, but the more I told him, the more I noticed it start mysteriously rising. I thought it was weird, but I brushed it off as him just wanting to meet me.