Grooming
I'm here to tell you that love bombing is part of abuse.
Love bombing is part of abuse.
There, I said it.
We hadn't been dating more than two weeks before he started telling me he couldn't wait to travel and take flights with me. His profile read that his relationships lasted no more than a year and that he was interested in friends with benefits (which I was not at all), but he insisted that he was looking for a long-term relationship this time and that he didn't want anything to do with hookups. He verbally aligned himself with any value I stated and the more I heard, the faster I hungrily ate it up. I was surprised that someone so affectionate and charismatic wasn't already attached, so I asked him why and he cracked a joke about being, "unlucky".
Finally, I decided we had talked long enough to meet up for a date. It went well - too well. We talked for hours and stargazed under a waterside gazebo. It was late October and the skies were clear. Being with him made me not care about the chilly breeze.
I was impressed by his implied ambition, adventurous past and laid-back attitude despite it all. The success he appeared to have achieved inspired me just as much as his dark, earnest eyes and ridiculous giggle. I felt a little like I was punching above my weight, but I was excited to finally be happily paired with someone who cared about his future and could take care of himself!
By the end of the night, the whole charming deal was sealed with a kiss. I returned home stunned that I had gotten so lucky.
The first sexual encounter we had was nothing I was particularly concerned about. We didn't even have sex in the traditional sense - he didn't want to. In a weird way, I was impressed. But when I got home, I found that I had bled. My period wasn't due, so I blamed my birth control for the irregularity and apologetically alerted him to wash his sheets.
If I remember correctly, we didn't meet again for a little while after that, as he was departing on a short trip to New York. To my absolute delight, he informed me during the following days that he had been bragging about how smitten he was to his housemate and friends. He even expressed interest in meeting my family when I proposed the possibility.
I was ecstatic. Within days, every love song I heard on the radio was about us in my imagination. I felt special, appreciated and finally taken seriously. We deleted our dating profiles, or at least he said he did. I fell hard for him.
It's probably no surprise to you that none of the things he gushed about doing together ever ended up happening.